Hi Adriana, given that I am a very apprehensive mother...I recognize him but he is stronger than me, I need your advice. My little one is 22 months old and I have to say quite a temper... he is a very curious child and wants to be independent. He literally refuses to shake hands and so going out has become a nightmare. The problem is that he wants to do everything but he is small and still unable to recognize what is dangerous and above all he does not walk... he runs and many times he has also fallen. Give me some advice. How should I do?
better a good temper than without character!! Joke: Sometimes we expect compliant children, but confrontation, showdowns, tantrums are part of growing up..
it is up to us to find the strategies on how to best manage them, to help them along this path.
At his age the desire to explore the world around him is normal and also very positive: he is beginning to create the mental patterns that will serve him to build both language and increasingly complex thinking.
The risk of getting hurt always exists (and always will exist): the first thing to do is, as always, to remove all dangerous things from the child's reach. It's not like we have to start removing all the knick-knacks..
nor does it mean allowing him to touch and undo everything! You need to learn that some things can be touched and others not.
When you get close to an object that you CANNOT touch, you have to say a sharp NO. The expression must be serious and you look it straight in the eye, without smiling, without caresses or gestures that could confuse the message: do not do anything that could confuse the meaning of the word NO. Don't be authoritative, but authoritative, yes.
At that moment, do not dwell on long explanations of why he should not touch that object: you will explain it to him at another time.
In moments when his desire to explore is away from danger, do not react, do not speak or reason with him. At that moment he does not listen, on the contrary your reaction feeds his behavior, It seems strange, but he is also looking for your reaction and showing himself angry or afraid, it is still a reaction.
Generally the child of this age wants to explore the world around him and does not run away to do a wrong. Shaking hands is necessary for safety reasons, especially in certain situations (crossing the street, crowded places). If you really can't hold him by the hand, better run for cover immediately and use the safety harnesses. They may seem odd at first glance, but ignore critical looks..
.safety first of all, especially for a child who sneaks away!! In addition, children like them more often, because they allow them to explore, they no longer feel forced to be attached and in the end..
the desire to escape also passes!
Don't give up though: keep insisting that I give you my hand when you cross the street..
but if it happens that you run away, the straps take you out of the dangerous situation.
Personally I have used them a lot!!
Curiosity is common in children and it is a good sign: it should only be contained and accompanied by rules, out of respect for others and for one's own safety.